I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
