oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
