I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
