Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
