Swine flu. Run for my life!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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