I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
