Got a toothbrush?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
