No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
