4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
