i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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