You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
