and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
