How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
