some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
