This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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