Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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