I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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