is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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