I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
