Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
