Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Couch. On fire.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize