I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize