I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
