I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
