nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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