What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize