k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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