On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
