Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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