Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I died a long time ago.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
