His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
