fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
