I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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