The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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