i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
