Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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