yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
