first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
