playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
