thus making me awesome and them whores
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
