So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
