I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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