So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize