Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
