you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
