my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
