Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
its liver damage thursday
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
