Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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