what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
