I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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