i wish my penis had a tongue
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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