yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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