She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
