paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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