i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
