I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
