I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
