Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
