The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
