I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
North Korea, Best Korea!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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