Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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