Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
