his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
